Why is texting one of the greatest tools for flirting and building attraction?

Well, first think about everything that goes into building attraction with someone in the real world. Such as your hair, eyes, smell, confidence, words, timing, clothes, witty remarks, and the list goes on. I call these attraction triggers. Now, it’s hard to build attraction with someone in the real world because you have to account for every attraction trigger or else you will be unsuccessful in your dating. So basically, the less attraction triggers you have to deal with the better your chances of being successful in building attraction and interest. Texting does just that. All you have to account for is words and timing and that’s it. You text the right words at the right time and you can expect to triple or double your success in dating. I have seen it happen hundreds of times.

Flirting is one of the most crucial parts in building attraction and creating a sexual connection. From a rational perspective it’s an unnecessary part in communication, that’s why it’s hard for men to grasp it’s importance. Basically, if you can send the right flirty text messages, then you can create that sexual connection without having to deal with all the attraction triggers. I’m going to share with you the 3 Laws that I use when I first start coaching men on how to be more successful at sending flirty text messages:

Law #1 - Building Suspense - the 10-minute rule

Suspense creates the roller coaster effect in your flirty text messages. The best way to start applying this is to apply the ten minute rule. That is, when she sends a vulnerable message, wait ten minutes before replying. A vulnerable text messages is something like, “are you free tonight to meet up?” or “do you want to hang out?” This delayed gratification builds suspense and starts creating this uneasy feeling inside which is making her want you more and more. Then, after ten minutes you let her know that everything is cool and all that tension inside of her is released and she’s so much happier and almost privileged that she gets to hang out with you.

It’s kind of like when you lose your keys or wallet. At first, it’s not too bad and you start looking. Then, as time goes on, you become more frantic and you start feeling uneasy inside. After about ten minutes, you are in a stressed-out state and you wish they would just appear! When you finally find them, you get this rush of relief and you feel really good because of the suspense and possibility of not finding them. Apply this same rule in your text messages. Build suspense at times.

Law #2 - Keep it light, fun and un-needy

You’re probably very fond of the stressful feeling of trying to send the right text message to someone you like?!? You’ve also probably sent text messages and immediately after sending them, you thought of something that would have been better to send, right? That’s because you cared way too much about what you were sending and it came across in your message. If you relax, and truly understand that there are plenty of fish in the sea, then you will send light and fun messages that don’t say, “please write back, i need you!!!”

Law #3 - Build Attraction not Friendship

Words are the most powerful influence in anyone’s life. It determines where you stand in any relationship and how strong that relationship is going to be. Now, I can’t just give you a bunch of words to text because it would take a lot more than just an article to explain everything (However, if you want a ton of proven text messages that work you should definitely get the eBook “The Ultimate Texting Guide.” It teaches you exactly what to text to be successful with women.)

What I can do is give you tips that help you construct more flirty text messages. That is, “text to build attraction not friendship.” Men fail big time here because they are so used to sending friendly messages and they carry that style into their text messages with women. What you’re first going to do is, before you ever send the message, read it and at the best of your emotional awareness, feel if it’s a friendly message or if it’s a message that is building interest (attraction.) Once you understand the difference more clearly, you will become a lot more successful with flirting and being desired.

I’m going to give you two text messages. One is friendship building and one is flirty. See if you can feel the difference: A woman text messages two different men and asks if they want to go shopping. The first man sends back “Ya, great. I would love to go. What time?” The second man sends back, “I would go shopping with you, but I don’t want you to be tempted to make out with me in the dressing room.” By just feeling out the messages, which man sent the flirty message and is building attraction? Yes, the second man. Point is, most men seem to be stuck in the first man’s position wondering why they can’t have the women they want. Overall, the more knowledge you gain on this the better you will be at discerning between flirty and friendly messages and ultimately it will determine every man’s success with women!

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