Most of us think a date happens when it happens. But if you think of the date as starting much earlier than that when you first meet the girl and start to get to know her, that puts you in a great position to learn more about her long before you have to commit to an actual romantic outing.

The truth is that except in the case of a blind date, the date begins from the moment you set eyes on each other. And if that time between when you first meet, begin to flirt and get to know each other and the first formal date goes well, you have a much greater chance that the first actual date will be the great event you want it to be.

So start viewing the “date” as underway even when you meet her for the first time and gently start to chat socially and mildly flirt. The only real difference is that in your mind, you are on the path to a date and you are intentional about learning all you can before you say “will you go out with me” to her. This is valuable time you can use to your advantage if you use it well.

Rarely do you date someone that is not already in a place that both of you already are comfortable. So most of us date girls from school, work or a social group where we have others who can introduce you and help you get to know the girl you have your eye on. Because this kind of setting is not always openly about dating, you can relax and become friends with the gal you are interested in and use that social time to do some important behind the scenes fact finding. Further you can use this time to build rapport so the grounds of a good first date are already in place before you ask her out.

This is the kind of setting where a casual conversation can allow you to ask some of those early questions that will be so important in making that decision on whether to even ask this girl on the first date. By getting some of that early “espionage” out of the way, you dramatically reduce the chance of having a “first date nightmare” that so many guys experience and never want to go through again. The truth is that other than a flat tire or someone getting sick or hurt, most first date disasters happen when something comes out in the relationship that dooms the chance of a romance. And the worst part is that if this happens early in the evening, the rest of the date can be tremendously awkward.

Square one of finding out more about this princess you want to take out is whether she in your league or even available. If you find out she is married or madly in love with the boss, you can shut down the flirtation train then and there. And although you might be disappointed, you can go home happy you didn’t have to go through a rejection when she gave you that news after you put yourself “out there” by asking her for a date.

Because this time before you start the romantic wheels turning is casual, you can cleverly find out any problems that could hinder a future romance. Such things as religious differences, firmly held political views or conflicts of culture can be learned without pressure or hostility. But knowing these things well in advance can help you decide whether to even ask the girl out or it can help you design the first date to avoid problem activities.

This time frame of the date before the date is also a good time to generally get to know the girl and let her get to know you in a relaxed situation. So much of the “chemistry” of that first date can be established during this time of getting to know each other and “feeling each other out”. It is a time when you can sense if the attraction is mutual and if you will have grounds for a strong relationship that will lead to not only a great first date but many great dates after that. And if you can get that kind of information gathered before you even ask for that first romantic interlude, you will be well ahead of the game.

Tags: Dating Tips

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