It can seem really difficult to get your ex to just talk to you, much less get him back. Fortunately, there are relatively easy ways to do both. Easiest is just getting him to return your calls, and once that is done you have won half the battle! Here is how you can go about getting him on the phone.

First, I will give you a short list of a few of the things you DO NOT want to do (and probably already have!). Do not worry too much if you have already fallen into one of these traps, you can still get him back with a bit of effort. It does make things more complicated though, so try to avoid finding yourself in a situation where you are:

–Desperately begging him to come back to you is never an effective way to do it. This relies on getting your ex to pity you, and one thing you don’t want right now is that kind of weakened position. Even in the 1-in-1000 chance that it gets you together, a relationship founded on pity will NOT hold out.

–Acting like it is a life-or-death emergency that he call you back. Even if you do feel like life itself hangs in the balance, you cannot act that dramatic. Getting your ex back has to be done carefully, and if there is that much drama flying around, all that will do is drain any patience your ex has left and drive him away.

–Playing the part of the romance movie guy who leaves a big, long, emotional message that melts the heart of his angry sweetie and fixes all the problems they had throughout the entire movie. Life simply does not work that way, I am sorry to say. It takes a lot more fixing than that, and in the real world your ex usually skips half the message and deletes it. It is another form of drama that is just too overwhelming and will not help you at all.

Those are all ways to make sure he DOES NOT call you. To make him WANT to call you, you need to utilize two of the oldest motivators in human nature: curiosity and self-interest. These have been used by everybody from businesspeople to world leaders, because they are effective for directing attention like nothing else is.

Try saying something like this:

-I just wanted to thank you, you really helped me out. I would really love it if you would call me back, because I would like to give you my thanks in person.-

This kind of line makes your ex wonder what it was he did that helped you so much, and makes the call seem less like an attempt to convince him to get back together. It feels relatively harmless, and yet has a lot of intrigue to it…he almost won’t be able to help himself.

But stop right NOW! Once he calls back, it is vital that you have a plan for exactly what you are going to say…going into this without an overall strategy could ruin your chances entirely, so do not risk it!

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