In my work with women and relationships, I often help them through break ups. One of the most common lies I hear women tell themselves is, “I gave him the best years of my life.” This is simply nonsense. The best is always yet to come, if you choose it to be.

You may not be getting any younger, but you choose whether or not your best years are ahead of you or behind you. And by following tried and true relationship rules, you can keep yourself from wasting future years in another dead end relationship.

Many people believe that once they reach a certain age, they can’t fix the bad habits they have, like smoking, falling into bad relationships, or over eating. They become an unchangeable part of who they are, and they accept the all too often horrific consequences that go along with the bad habit. They’ll say things like, “It’s too late for me to quit smoking,” or, “I’m to old to gain back my youthful figure.”

It is never too late and we are never too old to make the changes to better our future. There was an 83 year old gentleman who was a part of my church who was homebound. With the encouragement of some members of the congregation, he was able to give up smoking, a habit he had for many years. With in a matter of weeks, he was out playing golf again, something he hadn’t done in years!

It’s incredible what happens when someone decides that they are in control of their quality of life, and accept the support and knowledge necessary to make changes. The only unfortunate part is how long it took him to finally quit smoking. Think of the years he gave to his habit that kept him from enjoying life!

In relationships, the best years of your life cannot be determined by age. A lady I know found herself single again. Instead of shutting down and refusing to go on, she continued finding ways to enjoy her life. Due to her active lifestyle, she eventually married again- in her 80’s! She and her new husband have a great life together, including riding their motorcycles around the country.

When people in their 80’s are able to change and find meaningful relationships, it leaves little excuse for the rest of us. All it really requires is understanding how to make real changes and having a good attitude. No one can take the best years of your life. You can choose to be positive and let go of bad habits. If you do, you best years are always ahead.

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