Have you ever avoided talking to a woman just because she was talking to another guy?

Or maybe you avoided approaching a group of girls with one or two guys with them because you feared embarrassment just because you ASSUMED that those guys were cooler than you.

Most guys shy away from approaching women who are with other guys for a couple reasons.

They assume that the girl is “with” the guy, and assume he’s her boyfriend.

This shouldn’t be the basis of not talking to a woman. Especially in a social setting like in the bar, where people meet other people. Plus - that woman is not a “slave” of the guy or a piece of property, she’s a human being and is free to whomever she chooses to talk to.

Approaching oftenly a woman who is “with” a guy can make you look more confident, and draw out the jealous side of the guy, making him look insecure and weak.

The other reason points to a deep insecurity based on a simple misconception that’s why they avoid talking to woman who is “with” a guy.

Guys assumed that the “other guy” is stronger, cooler, or somehow more powerful than they are. Men tend to be threatened by other men.

This is founded in an ancient survival strategy that has been hardwired into the human brain.

In any given interaction, its often hard to tell who the more “dominant” person is. So when a male is confronted by another male, he doesn’t know how dominant the other guy is. The social hierarchy is very subtle, and mostly unconscious.

A guy doesn’t know if he will be embarrassed verbally, or as was probably common thousands of years ago, beaten up.

So it’s better to play safe by assuming that the other guy is a threat. Guys that were too bold may have won a few confrontations, but it will take a single loss to end up dead or exiled from the game.

And then their genes were eliminated from “race” so to speak.

Those guys that avoided confrontation and played safe are the one that can successfully reproduce and survive.

The irony is that nowadays this hard-wired survival strategy is the basis for most approach anxiety - men makes a false assumptions that will lead them to avoid approaching women unnecessarily.

The thing is, when you are in the bar or club and you see a woman talking to another guy, you would think she’s not WITH him.

Usually, they JUST MET!

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve approached a woman thinking she was “with” a guy, only to find out he was some random dude who just approached her. Or he was just a friend or relative.

I think of all the times I completely avoided talking to a woman because I saw her with another guy. I regret having missed so many opportunities. Which brings me to my first point:

YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT HE MEANS TO HER. DON’T ASSUME THEY ARE TOGETHER UNTIL YOU SEE PHYSICAL EVIDENCE.

You will know it if you try to act and find out. Just remember that in time that they are together you should be alert an respectful, the guy may be the insecure jealous type and may start a confrontation.

So be smart and wise - don’t just stick around on having a false judgment.

Tags: Dating Tips

Popularity: 4% [?]

Share This